Tag: empowerment

September 12, 2024

Nature is healing.

Last night I did a quick nature focused mini-training in my facebook group and wanted to basically share the transcript here with you in case you might find it helpful as well. Basically, it comes down to a simple but powerful form of self care that is so easy, anyone can do it.

And that is spending time in nature.

If you’re an active member of the fb group, you may have seen where I mentioned a little bit about how healing nature can be earlier this week when a few members were talking about how draining life was feeling lately. Tonight I wanted to dive a little further into why it’s so powerful as well as provide some ideas and options to try. So whether you’re looking for a quick recharge or to have a big impact on your health, it’s totally possible with a little help from the great outdoors.

As someone who makes it a point to spend as much time outside as possible, I can absolutely attest to how much of an impact it can have.

And that goes for all ages too.

For example, a lot of people told me I was crazy when I told them I was going to take my two toddlers camping for a whole week, but I have never seen them as calm. Between hiking through the trees, eating our meals by a lake, interacting with wildlife every day, and sitting under the stars each night… it was such a great experience for the whole family and every single one of us came home feeling healthier and happier. But seven days in the woods can be a lot for some people so if that feels extreme, don’t worry. There are plenty of ways to embrace the healing power of nature from the safety of your own back yard or a nearby park, and it can be five minutes here and there instead of a whole week.

But before we get further into some options, I want to go further into the why.

As I said, nature can be a huge healing source when it comes to both your physical and mental health. Let’s start with your nervous system and stress. Did you know that there is a ton of research that shows that being in nature can lower levels of cortisol? Even something as simple as a walk in the park can lead to lower blood pressure and heart rate, meaning your stress levels come down.

And as that cortisol level is decreasing, your serotonin and dopamine levels are going up, which helps with regulating your emotions and mood stability, meaning less anxiety, sadness and depression.

Taking that short break from the demands of your daily life and spending the time outdoors instead can help to improve your cognitive function- from attention span to memory to problem solving skills, a quick nature break has been known to restore your energy and focus. The theory behind this is that nature provides effortless attention which restores mental fatigue. That combined with all of the happy hormones leads to a higher functioning brain.

And then there is the fact that physical activities like walking or hiking in nature lead to a better overall physical fitness.

This means improvements in your cardiovascular health, weight, muscle, and immune system. You’re also being exposed to more natural light which helps your circadian rythems, meaning a better sleep cycle. You naturally produce more melatonin which can help with things like insomnia and improve your sleep quality. This is huge for both your mental and physical health.

There’s also a lot of emotions that can come to the surface when you’re surrounded by nature- such as feelings of connection and belonging. Being more connected to the world around you can help with the way that you interact with people and studies have shown that when we interact with nature, we’re more likely to feel like we’re part of the community which reduces feelings of loneliness.

And then finally, there’s just a certain sense of peace that comes with being in nature.

No distractions, no hustle and bustle of regular life… you’re more likely to be present and mindful of what’s going on around you. It’s calming and can allow you to be more engaged in the moment which again, comes back to things like less stress and more calm.

So, what are some of the easiest ways to get out in nature so that you can start getting all of these benefits?

You can jump in headfirst like I do and take off for the woods for a week or two, or you can step into it a little more slowly. Start with a walk around the block or through a local park. Hike through trails or public gardens or state parks. Start a garden in your yard or on your porch or wherever you have the room. Or maybe even just eat your lunch outside- whether it’s at a picnic table or sitting at the base of a tree.

You can ride your bike or head out with your camera and take photos of what you see around you. If it’s dark out, you can sit by a fire or lay out and look at the stars. You can find a quiet grassy place to kick off your shoes and practice grounding or yoga or meditation. Head to the beach and walk through the sand, listening to the waves and appreciating the absolute power that is the ocean.

The possibilities are endless.

And you can start with just five minutes and work your way up to longer or have several mini nature breaks throughout the day or dive in with full days or weeks. Whatever works best for you, your circumstances and your needs. Its totally adaptable and a lot of the time, it can be free. The key part is to just do it often.

I’d love to hear if any of this resonates with you, what you’re favorite ways are to get out in nature, and of course, if you have any questions at all or are interested in coaching services, just reach out.

Have a wonderful night everyone. And get outside tomorrow.

And of course, a reminder that if you need a little extra support, I’m your girl. I offer one on one coaching as well as a free facebook community for support. You can check get more info by clicking the links, and of course feel free to reach out to me with any additional questions.

March 21, 2024

Building your self-confidence

I went live in my facebook group this morning to talk about self-confidence after it was mentioned to me by a few different members of the group as well as from a past client. Low self-confidence is an issue that affects many of us, but it doesn’t have to. That’s why I wanted to share a few options with you to help kick those doubts to the curb.

When it comes to building self-confidence, I usually go right for mindset work, meditation and journaling. I’ll start off by briefly mentioning that I do have a couple of paid but affordable options, and then I’ll go into more detail with a whole lot of free things that you can try.

Paid options:

So for the paid things, I have a guided journal that I created to help with self-doubt and self-limiting beliefs which is on amazon. It has exercises, prompts, etc to help to build confidence and self-belief. And then on my website, I have a guided meditation which is to build up things like confidence as well as lessoning stress and increasing self compassion which all tie into each other.

You can find my guided journals on amazon here. And my website shop here.

You can also check out my website for things like affirmation downloads or reach out to me about coaching if you want something more hands on.

But now onto the free things that you can try.

For most of these, I still use a journal, but not a guided one. It can just be a blank journal or scrap paper, a notes ap or word doc. Just something to be able to write things down.

First, basic self-care like nutrition and getting enough quality sleep.

It might not seem like it would be connected, but it affects the way your brain processes everything, how you focus, how you feel, etc. So if you’re doing better physically and mentally, it’s going to affect your mindset and your confidence for sure.

Give yourself grace/self compassion.

Basically, don’t be so hard on yourself. Think about how you would treat a friend and apply that to you. This is one that I’ve done a lot and recommended to my mom… write down whatever you’re struggling with and then go back and read it as if a friend wrote it. You can make someone up or think of someone in particular. And then write a letter back as if you were talking to that friend. So for example, look at whatever you wrote and pretend my mom wrote it and think of how you would answer her. Then once you’ve written the response, go back and read it as you again. Often, we’re a lot kinder and more supportive to the people we care about than to ourselves, so this is sort of a way to trick our minds into being more supportive of ourselves.

Challenge your negative thoughts.

If you have a doubt or negative thought or something holding you back, write it down. Then try to list any reasons that this thought is true. Then re-write it as a positive thought challenging it and list the reasons that it is or could be true. This helps to get rid of unfounded doubts that often have no real basis or are really other people’s voices in our heads.

You can also try giving that negative voice in your head a different name.

This helps so that you can separate it from yourself. This sounds silly, but it’s effective for a lot of people. For example, let’s call it bob. Every time you start to have the negative thought or doubt, you can actually say out loud, be quiet bob. I know I can do this.

Set smaller, realistic goals.

Rather than focusing only on the big picture which can be intimidating or overwhelming, focus on the next small thing you can do. What is an achievable step in the right direction? And then make sure to celebrate the success! Doesn’t have to be a party (though it could be) but do something to acknowledge the accomplishment. A happy dance, an excited call to a friend, a piece of chocolate, etc.

Focus on your strengths.

Make a list of the things you love about yourself, skills that you’re proud of, areas where you didn’t quit and saw success. If you can’t think of any, ask friends or loved ones and write them down. You can even word it as what words come to mind when you think of me or what would you say I’m good at, etc. (I did this a few years ago and I was really nervous at first that it would look like I was fishing for compliments or something, but the people I reached out to were very quick to send me a few things each that made me realize more about myself than I had before. It was a very cool experience.) write these down and keep the list in a place that’s easy to reference on days where you need a reminder of your amazingness. Add to it as often as you feel called to.

Affirmations

You can use affirmations in so many ways. Print them out and put them somewhere you’ll see often, include them in a meditation, say them out loud as part of a morning or bedtime routine, etc… you want them to be something like “I am” and then whatever belief you’re trying to instill. Ex, I am confident. I am capable. Make it part of your daily life and your brain will start to recognize it as part of who you are.

Support system

Reach out to your friends, your family, a coach, etc… (feel free to post in my group whenever too) remember that you are not alone. If you have people who are constantly pulling you down or making you feel like you can’t do things, consider implementing firmer boundaries with them or some space. Notice who hypes you up, supports you, encourages or makes you feel better and nurture those relationships more.

Be willing to ‘fail’.

I’m using quotations for fail because I don’t really consider it to be a failure to try something new or to get it wrong as long as you don’t just give up. No one is perfect and expecting perfection is one of the quickest ways to get down on yourself. So this kind of goes back to giving yourself grace and compassion- realize that everyone makes mistakes or has a learning curve. And that it’s okay. That’s why we practice, start again, call on mentors, etc. Replace the ‘I failed’ mentality with ‘I didn’t get it yet but I can try again.’ Or something along those lines that resonates. But you can’t succeed if you never start.

Hopefully these are helpful. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or want to talk about any of these further or whatever.

January 25, 2024

Set boundaries for how you treat yourself

Last week, I spoke about boundaries and how they are a necessity when it comes to self-care. I wanted to expand on that, because while the boundaries you set for the relationships in your life are crucial, so are the boundaries you set for self-treatment. So today, I’m focusing on those. This ranges from things like your routines to self-talk and more.

Just like the boundaries we set in relationships, personal boundaries for how we treat ourselves are important for building a healthier and more fulfilling life. I believe they are the foundation for almost every area of our lives and determining how things will play out.

Ditch the negative self-talk:

The first step I recommend in self-boundaries would be addressing negative self-talk. Set limits on your self-criticism and establish a positive internal dialogue. Pay attention so that you can recognize harmful thoughts and actively replace them with affirmations. Remember, the things you say and think directly affect the things you feel and believe. This means that curbing that negative self-talk can greatly improve your quality of life. And so a commitment to speak to yourself with kindness and compassion is a great start to setting your boundaries with yourself.

Prioritizing self-care over neglect:

Next, I’d say to set clear boundaries between self-care and self-neglect. Figure out the things that genuinely rejuvenate your mind and body, and commit to making time for them. Whether it’s a relaxing bath, reading a book, or practicing mindfulness and meditation, these moments need to be non-negotiable. You don’t need to be ‘busy’ all of the time. You just need to be intentional.

Make sure you’re getting quality sleep:

Moving on to your quality of sleep; this is a really important one. Set a consistent sleep schedule, create a bedtime routine, and make getting a good night’s sleep a priority. By setting this boundary with yourself to guarantee that you get the rest you need, you’re investing in both your mental and physical health which means you’ll feel better and even be more productive. Some other bonuses from this are better cognitive function and emotional resilience.

Find a balance with work and personal life:

Another big boundary to set is the separation or balance between work and personal time. This is especially important for entrepreneurs who often work crazy hours at crazy times. Overworking can lead to burnout and compromise your overall well-being. So it makes sense that we need to be firm on setting limits. Learn to say no to excessive work demands and create a schedule that allows for both productivity and relaxation. Also make sure that you’re getting some ‘me time’ every single day.

Pay attention to your nutrition.

Setting boundaries around nutrition involves making conscious choices about what you consume. Prioritize nourishing your body with wholesome foods, and establish limits on indulgences that are negatively affecting you. Listen to your body’s signals and respond with mindful eating. This might mean a little more time, effort or work, but the convenient and quick solutions are not always the answer. By making sure that your body is getting the nutrients that you need, you’ll feel better and have more energy. Odds are you’ll probably also see positive effects on things like your hair and your skin when you’re making sure that you’re getting the proper nutrition, along with less aches in your muscles and joints. Your mood and focus could also improve depending on what your current diet looks like and the changes that you put into motion.

Exercise and movement are important too.

I also recommend creating boundaries around exercise or movement that promote a healthy relationship with physical activity. It doesn’t have to be a hardcore workout. Choose things that bring you joy and make sure it aligns with your energy levels and capabilities. For some this could mean things like yoga or walking. For others it could mean swimming or kickboxing. The important part is just to get your body moving.

How to set these boundaries:

(This is where I recommend breaking out the journal to form your plan.)

Start by thinking about your current habits and areas that might need adjustment. Clearly note these boundaries to yourself. Make sure that you’re viewing your commitments to yourself with the same importance as you would view your commitments to others. Be firm in enforcing them, but also give yourself grace. It can take time to establish new normal which will probably feel very uncomfortable at first. Like I mentioned last week, our brains are wired for the familiar. So even if a new thing is super positive compared to the old thing that might even be outright toxic, our brains struggle to make the transition with ease. It does get easier- don’t give up after one hard day.

Let your boundaries adapt with you.

Just as your boundaries with others are going to change as your life and experiences change, so should the boundaries you have with yourself. Be open to adjusting them as you grow and be sure to check in every once in a while to make sure that they are still having a positive effect in your life. Again, this is where journaling can be super helpful. Pay attention to how your new boundaries make you feel and what changes you see in your life. Change them up when they’re no longer effective or practical for your situation.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Overall, the biggest thing is that by choosing self-love and well-being, you are choosing you. I applaud you for that choice and wish you all of the success. If you should need some additional help or guidance along the way, I’m here. Feel free to reach out to me. And again, I also offer one on one coaching as well as a free facebook community for additional support. You can check get more info by clicking the links, and of course feel free to reach out to me with any additional questions.

January 18, 2024

Boundaries are an important part of self care.

I talk a lot about self love and self care. It’s really the whole premise of why I got into this business in the first place- to empower women to love themselves and treat themselves well. And so I wanted to write about boundaries, because in my opinion, that’s the most important version of self care that there is.

What are boundaries?

The simplest way I can think to explain boundaries would be rules for how you allow others to treat you. (And for how you treat yourself.) When you set boundaries, you’re telling the people around you what you will accept and what you won’t. They define your needs, your wants and your deal breakers. I firmly believe that these should be put into affect with every relationship in your life- romantic, friendship, professional, stranger, etc… (Though the boundaries you have with one person may be different from the ones you have with another.)

Boundaries are something that everyone should have.

It should be a given that everyone would have boundaries, but that isn’t always the case. For instance, I didn’t really have any boundaries at all for the first 29 years of my life. I’m an empath and I was a chronic people pleaser so I let people walk all over me and take advantage all of the time. It was rare that I stood up for myself or expressed my needs, and when I did, I felt guilty. It took me a really long time to realize how important boundaries were, and that they’re actually a necessity for every person looking to live a healthy life.

You’re allowed to say no.

The biggest change in going from someone without boundaries to someone with boundaries is realizing that you can say no. You don’t have to be everything for everyone anymore. Just because you’re capable of doing something doesn’t mean that you have to. Even if it wouldn’t be that hard or you can do it better than someone else, you can still say no. But it isn’t limited to just saying no, I don’t want to do that. It also involves saying no, I will not allow that or no, I’m not going to think about this or even just plain no. No is a complete sentence.

At first, it might feel selfish.

This doesn’t mean that it is. But when you’re used to saying yes all of the time, no feels uncomfortable. Give it some time and some practice and you’ll be amazed at how easy it starts to become. Eventually, you’ll accept that saying no to someone else can mean saying yes to you. You’ll realize that you have more time and energy that you can spend doing the things that you want to do rather than being stressed about situations you may have been guilted into. This doesn’t mean that you can never help anyone ever again- it means you get to decide. To pick and choose.

If you always say yes to everyone else and you allow people to get away with anything and everything regardless of how you feel, you will be the one that suffers. Odds are you will find yourself exhausted, stressed and maybe even resentful. You’ll probably burn out and not be able to help anyone at all after a while, and then you’ll have to watch as the users and abusers start to disappear and leave you to fall apart because they can no longer get what they need from you.

Boundaries are a way of valuing yourself.

By setting boundaries, you’re putting an emphasis on your values and your own beliefs. You’re standing up for yourself, asking to be treated well and not settling for anything less. By saying you won’t tolerate a certain type of behavior, you’re also saying that you know you deserve better. By stating what you are comfortable with and what you are not, you’re recognizing that your feelings and opinions matter. (This is important, because it’s true!) By enforcing your boundaries, you’re requiring respect from those around you. You’re stating that you are just as worthy as the next person of being treated with consideration.

Not all boundaries need to be rigid.

There are different types of boundaries depending on the situation. Some may be make or break, absolute requirements. Others may just require some discussion or be open to compromise. The easiest way to navigate this is communication.

By communicating your boundaries with the people involved in the situation, you can figure out the best way to move forward. You may have to take other people’s boundaries into account here as well. Sometimes, a compromise may be in order. Other times, maybe it’s best to just go your separate ways. Again, it depends on the situation.

How to set boundaries

The first step would be to look at your life currently. How do people talk to you? Touch you? Interact with you? Does any of this make you uncomfortable? If so, that would be a good indication that you need to set some new boundaries. Figure out what you are comfortable with as well as what makes you anxious and start making a list. What is okay and what is not? Maybe somethings are okay with one person, but not another. As you go through the different areas of your life, you may see a need for different boundaries. That’s perfectly okay. Figure out what’s already there and what needs to change. What do you want? And what do you need?

Once you’ve figured this out, you can start to communicate those wants and needs to the people around you.

Some people are going to give you a hard time. Some may be offended and maybe even get a little hostile. That my friends, is usually a giant red flag. In my experience, the people who get mad at you for setting boundaries are often the people who would benefit from crossing them. They don’t want you to be strong and stand up for yourself because it means that they have to change and can no longer take advantage of you.

On the flip side, there are going to be others in your life who will embrace your new boundaries. They may even applaud you for them! Even if the new rules require some changes and effort on their end, they’ll try for you. Those are your people. Hold onto them. Because these are the people who want you to succeed. They want you to be happy and to have what’s best for you.

Boundaries can be a neat little tool for figuring out who’s who.

Boundaries can change.

Your boundaries at 20 are going to look different than your boundaries at 30 and at 40 and so on. As you go through life, you will have different experiences, different challenges, different feelings, etc. The things you go through will change your wants and needs, which means you will have to adjust your boundaries. This is totally okay. You can literally wake up one day and decide you want something different. That just means you have to set a new boundary, and be sure to communicate it to the people in your life that may need to adjust a certain behavior or expectation.

It’s really important to show yourself some compassion and patience as you figure out what you want your boundaries to be and how to enforce them. But you do have to enforce them and have actual consequences! Otherwise, people will just keep crossing them and they will inevitably be pointless. By enforcing your boundaries, you’re choosing yourself. And that’s really the best choice you could make.

I hope you choose yourself today. You deserve it.

If you’re struggling with boundaries and would like someone to work one on one with you to move forward, I’d love to work with you. I offer one on one coaching as well as a free facebook community for support. You can check get more info by clicking the links, and of course feel free to reach out to me with any additional questions.

January 5, 2024

Choosing a Mantra: Your Intentional Guide

If you’ve been following me for a while now, you probably that I have a huge love for mantras, affirmations, and anything along those lines. Today I wanted to talk a little more about choosing a mantra and why it’s so great to have if you’re healing from PTSD, dealing with anxiety, struggling to stay focused, etc. I went live in my facebook group last night talking about choosing a mantra so I thought it made sense to come write about it here as well.

What is a mantra?

To put it simply, a mantra is a word or phrase used to help adjust your mindset and cause a certain thought to take root. This way, it can act as a guide for your thoughts, emotions, feelings, actions and reactions. Mantras have been used for ages to calm your mind, reduce stress, promote healing and help us get from Point A to Point B. (I’ve found that they can be especially helpful when healing from PTSD.)

How can a mantra help me?

A mantra can help different people in different ways. But one of the most common ways is to help to quiet the mind and reduce anxiety. That makes this really great to have in your pocket during trigger moments! When you repeat a mantra, you are focusing your mind on a single thought, which can help to quiet the other thoughts that may be causing anxiety, stress or distraction.

A mantra can help to create a sense of safety and security. For example, someone with PTSD might feel like the world is a dangerous and unpredictable place. By repeating a mantra that creates a sense of safety and security, such as “I am safe” or “I am protected,” you can begin to shift your perception of the world and feel more grounded. Similarly, someone who is feeling anxious might choose something like “I am capable” or “I can do this.”

A mantra can also help to promote healing. By repeating a mantra that promotes healing, such as “I am healing” or “I am getting better every day,” you can actually strengthen your belief in yourself and your ability to heal.

It’s important to make sure that whatever you choose feels right and powerful to you, so that it is easier to put your belief and energy behind it. The one I started with, that to be honest, I still return to when I’m feeling the need, is “Even though what happened happened, I will be okay because I am strong and I am healing.” So mine was a longer one and that worked really well for me, but you need to figure out what works best for you because different types of mantras are going to work in different ways for different people. It can also change over time. For instance, right now, my current mantra is “slow down.” It’s a very personal process.

How to use a mantra:Once you have chosen your mantra, here are some possible ways to use it:

Set your intentions.

What is it that you want to achieve? What are your goals for the mantra? Is it more self-compassion or stronger boundaries, learning to say no or maybe learning to say yes depending on the situation? Less nightmares or more positive connections? You want to create an association between this intention and your mantra so that you can stay connected. So keep this intention in the back of your mind as you repeat the mantra to yourself.

Now, this is where you have some options.

One way of doing it is to just start repeating it to yourself.

You can say it out loud, in your head, or write it down. You can set a timer for ten minutes and just sit there repeating it or you can go a more relaxed route of just saying it throughout the day when you feel stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed.

Visuals and journaling

Create a visual of your mantra and put it somewhere that you’ll see often. It can be simple- just words on paper. Or it can be fancy and beautifully designed- whatever motivates you to look at it and take note of it. Also try writing it out again and again each day in your journal. Even if you don’t go back and read your journal entries, for many people, the simple act of writing something can help it take route deeper in your mind.

(As I mentioned in my word of the year post last week, as well as in my live training last night, I can help you to create a completely custom journal for this process, burning your mantra right into the cover! Just reach out to me if you’re interested!

Pay attention to the results

Once you’re repeating, writing, reading, hearing your mantra all the time, you want to make sure that you are paying attention to the way that you’re thinking and feeling. Notice how the mantra is effecting your life. Are you more focused and more present? Are you thinking more positively and strongly about yourself and the world around you? Making changes to be more in tune with who and where you want to be? Your mantra should be helping you to be more in touch with your goals and more in control of how you feel, act and react.

The right mantra is important.

Having a mantra can be super effective as long as you’re willing to do the work and make sure that you’re choosing the right one. Again, choose a mantra that resonates with you, set your intention, and then repeat repeat repeat.

If you need help creating the perfect mantra, you can either grab my free affirmations quiz or I have a training for that in my facebook group and I’d love to support you. Pop on over to get instant access, or shoot me a message for a direct link to the training. It’s a multi-part training that includes a lot of information about mantras, and I also guide you through two different methods of forming your perfect mantra. The goal is to leave the training with a mantra to try.

If you do create a mantra and give this a shot, feel free to come tell me how it’s working out for you because I would absolutely LOVE to hear all about it and help cheer you on.

December 29, 2023

Slow Down: My phrase for the new year.

2023 was a busy year for me, and I am SO ready to slow down in 2024. That’s why I’ve decided to make it my mantra for the new year.

Not just a New Year’s Resolution…

For as long as I can remember, almost everyone I knew set a new year’s resolution every year on January 1st. Promises to go to the gym, to lose weight, to quit smoking, to get organized, to make more money… They were always super into it at first, but then it would start getting harder and eventually felt impossible. Moods would plummet, self worth would lessen, and they would get angry with themselves. That, or they would just give up. (Sound familiar?)

I actually read somewhere that a lot less than half of people are actually able to keep their new year’s resolutions. Too many unrealistic goals or maybe just too many goals… Not enough progress so you start to lose momentum…

Choosing a word instead.

Towards the end of 2019, I started seeing a lot of posts all over social media talking about choosing a word of the year instead. I found it super intriguing and decided to look more into it. Everything I read seemed encouraging! Instead of committing to a resolution that may be unrealistic or lose your interest after a while, you chose a simple word or short phrase. That becomes your guide for your decisions and for how you spend your time and thoughts. It’s how you are deciding to show up. What I really love about it is that it is something that can adapt with you as you grow and change throughout the year. This makes is more achievable, but still powerful. All you have to do is be intentional.

In 2022, I chose fearless.

I looked at my old journal and this is what I wrote:

“For 2022, I’ve decided to be fearless. It’s going to be hard and tricky at times, but I’ve thought really hard about it and I’m determined to make it happen. Not only determined, but excited. I’m done holding myself back because I’m afraid of what might happen. 2022 is going to be different. I’m going to be different.”

I had spent so much of my life making my decisions based on fear. The fear of not being enough, of not being loved, of not being perfect, of getting hurt again… I was terrified to ask for help or to say no to people and things that did not serve me, and I was sick of living that way. So the year became about boundaries- ones I was setting for my interactions with others and ones for interacting with myself.

I decided to no longer let my fear and anxiety rule my life. No longer would I hold myself back or keep myself small. It was a lot of work, but the result was a much more confident and happier me! Of course, there were still days where I was full of fear, but I showed up anyway. And I was really proud of everything I was able to achieve.

In 2023, I chose follow-through.

I chose follow-through because I felt stuck. Stuck with my business, stuck with friendships, stuck with weight loss or with my home renovations. I would start things with excitement, feeling motivated and powerful… But then as the newness started to wear off, so did my motivation. There were always reasons or excuses to stop. I realized that I was getting in my own way. I realized that if I wanted to be able to accomplish anything, I had to start following-through. The result? I stopped letting myself give up when I got close to success. If I said I was going to do something, I did it. I had to find a lot of ways and tricks to navigate my multi-passionate, hard-to-focus brain, but I did it! And it resulted in so many accomplishments and achievements. I managed to make things happen that I’d dreamed about for years!

And so that brings us to 2024. The year where I will intentionally ‘slow down’.

When we’re constantly in that go-go-go mentality, it can be easy to get overwhelmed. We get tangled up in all of our ambitions and commitments and don’t always take the time to rest or appreciate all that we have. That was me in 2023. The year was absolutely full of accomplishments, which I’m very proud of. However, there were also a lot of points where it felt like a blur. Points where I may have missed out on the simple pleasures of everyday life with my husband, kids and family. And so for 2024, I plan to slow down.

I’m not abandoning my drive or my ambition, but I will be more adamant about enjoying the present moment, celebrating the things I’ve accomplished and enjoyed the life that my hard work has provided for me.

I’ve also realized that I allowed my body to take a beating this past year.

Living with fibromyalgia, I know that I’m supposed to listen to my body and not overdo it. I know the value and importance of rest and self-care. There were points in my determination to see things through that I ignored the signs that my body needed a break. I pushed through and ended up sick or bed-ridden for days at a time. And so this year, I’m determined not to fall back into that pattern again. I will be nurturing myself and making sure that I’m getting plenty of rest.

I want to reconnect with the things that make life worth living.

For me, that includes things like painting just to paint and not because of a commission. It means taking the time to prepare meals with love, making sure to choose ingredients that I feel good about and that make us feel good in return. It means making sure that my home is clean and uncluttered, warm and comfortable. It means sleeping when I need to sleep and allowing myself to cancel plans when I need a break. I want date nights out with my husband or nights where we plan to do nothing but sit on the couch and enjoy each others company to reinforce and deepen our connection. Making time for yoga or kickboxing or a walk in nature when I need to destress and not feeling guilty about needing a little me time…

Most importantly, it means focusing on my beautiful children, growing so fast that I’m afraid to blink. I don’t want to miss a moment, a laugh, a milestone… I want to be fully present and in order to do that, I know I need to slow down. I can’t let myself be trapped by ghosts of the past or constantly worry about my future. It’s all about the present- right now, with the people I love. They are absolutely the most important thing in my life and I want to make sure that I honor that in every way that I can.

I will not be stopping or quitting or giving up.

I am still going to set goals and work out ways to make them happen. Still make sure that I’m following my calling, living with purpose, making an impact and contributing positively to society in a way that I can be proud of. But I will also slow down and take time for all of these things that also matter. I’m going to listen to my body, my heart and my soul in order to find the balance that I need to fully enjoy my life.

In 2024, I will slow down and make sure that I am living deliberately and intentionally.

Will you be setting a mantra for the new year?

If so, but you’re struggling to figure out what it should be, I highly recommend journaling to figure it out! That was how I figured out what to chose for me over the last few years.

As you may know, journaling is my go-to tool to reccomend for figuring out our minds or our hearts. I really think it’s one of the best things we can turn to. And if you need a journal, feel free to reach out to me and I can help create a personalized one for you. If you have your word already, I can custom even make you a journal with that word burned across the cover so that you have a visual reminder to inspire you all year long.

Here’s an example of the one I made for myself with my ‘word’ of the year:

Still having trouble or not sure how to apply your new mantra? I’d love to coach you through it. You can check out my coaching offers here for a one to one exeprience or head over to my facebook group for more of a community style support.

Wishing you all a happy new year!

December 15, 2023

Rebranded and excited!

Hello everyone and welcome to daniellelapteff.com, formally emilyeverafterco.

There are a few reasons behind this rebrand. First and foremost, I want to make sure that there’s no confusion. My name is Danielle, but there are many people who start their messages and interactions to me as Emily. I’ve been so grateful for all the amazing folks who’ve trusted me to guide them on their journeys, and I want to ensure that they know and understand who they’re connecting with. This way we can build a foundation of trust and honest communication.

More importantly, my focus has always been on helping my clients become the best, most genuine versions of themselves. I’ve witnessed countless transformations, and it’s been a privilege to be part of the journey. But to truly help people to shine their brightest, I need to do the same. By showing up as myself, I can serve my clients and followers even better.

(And then I also have to admit that it felt a bit strange to have a business that was only named after my daughter when I now also have a son.)

Honestly, change can be intimidating… but it’s also exhilarating. And as I step into this new chapter, I’m owning my power and embracing my own inner magic and showing up boldly as myself, Danielle.

I’m excited about what the future holds, and I’m even more thrilled to have you on this journey with me. Thank you for your continued support, and I can’t wait to continue sharing what I’ve learned in order to help you become the strongest, most genuine version of yourself. Let’s embark on this new adventure together!

With love and gratitude,

Danielle

December 7, 2023

Ashley Pakulski, An Empowered Voice

This week, I’d like to introduce you to Ashley Pakulski!

Ashley Pakulski, a devoted single mom to her daughter and cherished fur baby, calls Canada her home. As a dedicated Business and Mindset Coach, Ashley specializes in empowering mompreneurs who’ve embarked on their coaching journey. Her mission is clear: to help them conquer self-doubt, exude confidence, and magnetically draw in their dream clients, propelling them towards full-time business success.

Beyond coaching, Ashley shines as a captivating speaker and a bestselling author. Her unwavering belief is that a thriving business begins with a solid foundation in mindset and inner growth, paving the way for strategic success. Through this transformative work, inspired action becomes second nature, leading to the organic attraction of the right people to your business. Ashley is committed to turning the dreams of every mother entrepreneur into a reality.

What was your ‘Ever After’ moment? (The moment that changed everything)

My ‘Ever After’ moment was when I gave birth to my daughter. It was then I realized that for things in my life to change, I needed to change. That’s when my healing journey started. It wasn’t always smooth, but I understood that to give her the best life, it began with my own inner work, healing, and pursuing my passion.

What is a challenge that you have have faced and how did you overcome it? What did you learn along the way?

I faced significant challenges in my life, including trauma and addiction. Traditional therapy didn’t quite do it for me. I took matters into my own hands, delving into personal development and self-healing books. Establishing morning routines and attending AA meetings were key. I also had to let go of some people. Through this, I learned that challenges persist, but self-care and healing are daily practices. Loving yourself fully and confronting what holds you back leads to breakthroughs, making anything possible in life.

What is a practical strategy or tool that you have found most effective for achieving success and/or personal growth?

A practical strategy that’s been a game-changer for my success and personal growth is morning routines. They’re like an all-in-one package. Incorporating breakthrough work, meditation, affirmations, and journaling has been crucial. It helps regulate my nervous system, keeps me present, and reprograms my subconscious mind. This shift in focus and learning to let go of control has been transformative for me. I could talk about it endlessly!

How do you deal with self-doubt and limiting beliefs? What practices have you found helpful for building self-confidence?

Dealing with self-doubt and limiting beliefs is a vital ongoing process. Personally, I find listening to affirmations at night while I sleep incredibly helpful. Morning and night are prime times for effective visualization. With my clients, I encourage them to identify their “little lies,” and trace their origin and validity. Then, they replace them with empowering, believable statements, and actively seek evidence of their achievements. Building this foundation of strength leads to unstoppable confidence, where outside opinions matter less, and you become full of self-assurance.

What advice do you have for staying resilient in the face of adversity? How do you maintain a growth mindset and learn from failures?

The key is to keep moving forward. There will be days when you have to crawl, but keep your head held high. Amidst all the noise, stay focused on your goals and be your authentic self. Embrace mistakes as part of the learning process, nobody’s perfect. Just remember, if you stay hidden and stuck, you won’t grow. Take even a 1% step each day, and by year’s end, you’ll have moved mountains.

What are some common misconceptions people have about your area of expertise, and what would you like people to know?

A common misconception is downplaying the importance of mindset work, often dismissing it as fluff. While strategies are crucial, without the right mindset, sustained success is a challenge. Energy matters for sales and overall progress. Success isn’t just about strategies; it’s about nurturing your mindset and inner foundation. This work is continuous and essential—it doesn’t have an endpoint.

Is there anything else that you’d like to share?

Absolutely, I’d like to emphasize the importance of forward momentum. Learning comes from daily action, focusing on significant steps that make a real impact. Avoid looking back; it’s about moving ahead. Remember, your thoughts shape your reality, so choose ones that empower and serve you best!

How can we connect with you?

@theashleypakulski

facebook

facebook group

Interested in being featured as an Empowered Voice? Click here for more info.