Some advice that I have often needed: give yourself grace. You see, I’ve always been an over-achiever, multitasker, etc… And you know where that leads? Burnout!

I’ve written about this before.

You’d think that knowing that overextending myself would lead to burnout would make me reel it in, but that isn’t always the case. My natural instinct (or maybe it’s conditioned?) is to keep pushing. Keep moving forward, don’t give up. Don’t you dare admit defeat or exhaustion. I was taught that I always had to do and give more and that’s not a lesson easily forgotten.

Success doesn’t always come to the one that works the hardest.

I’m not saying that working hard doesn’t pay off. But the expression ‘work smarter, not harder’ exists for a reason. You can work your ass off every minute of every day until you collapse but if you’re not working on the right things, it really won’t matter. What could end up happening is that you are frustrated and exhausted and you start to lose interest and focus. Your relationships might end up jeopardized and your health might be affected. Even if you do end up successful in whatever you’re working towards, you could still end up having these negative affects.

Sometimes you need someone else to tell you to give yourself grace.

When you get into your head that you have to keep going, sometimes even the knowledge that you’re on the brink of burnout isn’t enough to stop you. Having an outside voice actually tell you to give yourself grace or some other variation of the phrase can be monumental in having the ability to take care of yourself. It’s like an override for your inner (demanding) voice, allowing you to put your mental and physical health first.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

This is a popular phrase that is a popular for a reason. Like many of you, in my life, I’ve got a lot of different things going on. So many personal projects, business projects, and then of course, my family is the priority. But towards the end of last year, that really started to catch up with me.  Despite the fact that I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open, I was frustrated when I didn’t get everything on my list done each day. I was venting to a friend when she pointed out that I needed to rest.  She reminded me that ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’ I laughed at first, but then she got more serious and was like “Seriously Danielle, give yourself grace.”

I remembered that I can’t do it all.

Not only that, but I can’t do anything if I’m burnt out! And so I thought about everything that I had going on and everything that I had wanted to accomplish and I wrote it all out in my journal. Then I went through the list and circled my priorities. You know what those were? Taking care of family. Making sure that we all had a comfortable place to live, food in our bellies and that we got decent amounts of laughter and sleep. My current clients were also circled as a priority of course.

But everything else got moved to a secondary list. The ‘if I get to it’ list. Because my projects will still be here next week. The chores and the errands aren’t going anywhere. If I get that stuff done, there will just be more of it after that. But my family, my health, and my clients who are trusting me to help them? Well, those are much too important to push off. And so after creating this list, not only did I go and take a nap, but then afterwards I spent the rest of the day cuddling my babies and not feeling guilty at all for all of the things I didn’t get done. And then I made the decision to slow down and keep myself in this graceful headspace.

Some days are harder than others.

I’m not going to lie, I did have to write ‘give yourself grace’ on a post it note and put it on my bathroom mirror so that when I wake up each day, I’d remember not to have a panic attack. But doing so means that now I get to have nights where I’m lounging comfortably on my couch writing or working on the things, knowing that the important people and things were taken care of.

Did I get a ton of work done every single day? Nope. Not at all. Am I proud and feeling accomplished anyway? You bet your ass I am!

Because I give myself grace.

I focus on what and who matter. And I don’t let that wanna-be overachieving voice in the back of my head win.

Thanks to a friend for the pep talk, my journal and visuals for processing and reminding me. And thanks to myself, for remembering how strong I am.

If you need a journal or some visual affirmations, head on over to my shop and I’d be happy to hook you up. If you need a friend, reach out here or on my Instagram and say hello!

And if you need some hands-on support, a reminder that I offer one on one coaching as well as a free facebook community. You can check get more info by clicking the links, and of course feel free to reach out to me with any additional questions.